theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
