he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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