I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize