she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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