oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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