if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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