3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
