I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize