My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
