it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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