i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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