He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
