Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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