This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
