its not stalking. its research.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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