I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
