he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
