my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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