I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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