We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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