I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Someone came in the potted fern
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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