I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
