I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
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If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
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I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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