i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
