It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
