Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
this beer tastes like vomit already
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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