If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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