i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
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He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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