dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize