Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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