You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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