I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
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She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
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woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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