I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
