two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
