remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
