Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
