i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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