can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
