We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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