You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
