Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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