Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
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Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
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I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize