I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
