Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
