did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
