it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
