I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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