Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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