What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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