I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
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Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
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I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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