Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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