Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
