Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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