im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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