Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
