Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How does one acquire holy water?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
