If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
